Liking as in more than friends?
by Karisha
Summary: Pure HermioneXRon fluff^^ One-shot, cute....Hermione is writing in her diary and....just read it yourself, you'll see!


This fic is kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing. I thought about the fact that Latrisha and me will (hopefully^^) soon reach 100 reviews with our story 'Confusing Experiences and Hidden Feelings'. Because that's something very special to both of us, we thought of a way of celebrating. And what's the best way in celebrating for a Fanfic Author? Yes, writing a story. I did this one-shot, and Latrisha is doing one on her own which will be posted after the next chapter of our story^^ It's pure RonXHermione fluff, so be warned *gg*

(Oh and for those of you who are wondering about the Author Name: Karisha means '_Kaeera_' and '_Latrisha_', we are two friends and cousins who have joined to write a Harry Potter fic. If you want to know more, read our bio^^))

Thanks to** Emalia Jinx** who was, like always, so kind to beta-read this story. We would be lost without you!!! And remember, Latrisha is German, I'm German, so there might be a few mistakes or some weird sentences, since English is only my second language. Well, then read and enjoy the fic, and to everyone who has read and reviewed 'Confusing Experiences': Take it as a THANK YOU for the great support!!!! **~Kaeera**

* * *

  


**Liking....as in more than friends? **

_by Kaeera_

Dear Diary,

It's strange. And it's annoying. I can't tell anybody about this, because...well, because I don't know exactly **what** there is to tell. To be honest, I have no idea. Something is going on with me, and I haven't the slightest clue what it is. I don't like it. I prefer to know about things....you know me, diary...well...you are just a book, and I am just writing down my confused feelings, but...

I seem confused, right? Well, I am. And it's all because of a certain person. A certain red-haired, stubborn and clumsy person. Yeah, exactly. Ronald Weasley.

I don't remember the numerous times I sat in a corner of my room, scribbling down into exactly this book how _annoying_ Ron was again, how _insensitive_ and how _mean_. How he hurt my feelings without even noticing it, and then asking me what the heck was wrong with me.  
And then the few times he would say something nice, each of them reported in my diary, scenes I liked to remember, scenes which let my heart beat faster.

But why?

We are always fighting. He never agrees, never mind what I say. He thinks of me as an ugly book-reading witch who can just study, study, study and has no idea how to have fun. I think of him as a stubborn idiot, who has no sense for feelings, romantic or anything else. 

Nonetheless we are best friends. And sometimes I start to believe that we are more than that. It sounds strange, I know...but...I'm not sure if it's merely a wish or a fact that I've come to realise. Recently it seems to me that I want him to look at me and see Hermione Granger, the girl, and not Hermione Granger, the bookworm. Why? I don't know. And it makes me angry.

I feel like one off those stupid girls in one of those books....you know what I am talking about....romance stuff, pure fluff, stories girls like Parvati and Lavender like to read - while giggling like mad. Love stuff. Things like "Oh, he's sooo cute and I want to ask him on a date, but I am too shy." I don't think too highly of these. I never believed in a thing like 'falling in love as soon as you look into the eyes of this CUTE guy'. No. Never. Although I have to admit that Ron can be quite handsome...THERE! I am doing it again. Writing stuff I didn't intend to write. 

Hermione Granger, being confused. I can exactly imagine Ron's reaction of this. He would snort and laugh. And then he would probably walk away, talking with Harry about Quidditch. It's HE who confuses me, and I really have to find a solution for this...soon....yesterday I realised that I couldn't concentrate on my essay, because I kept watching him out of the corner of my eye! It's ridiculous!

Sometimes I believe that I like him. Well, liking...as in more than friends. And then I immediately shake my head. It can't be possible, can it? I couldn't fall in love with the most stubborn boy on earth, would I? An insensitive, clumsy idiot?  
My brain is telling me this and my heart is telling me otherwise. I tried to talk with Ginny, but she wasn't a big help - she just smiled knowingly, saying something like: "Oh, I know that you like him, Herm." and patted on my shoulder. Honestly....a GREAT help, really. Now I am SO MUCH LESS CONFUSED!!

....I am overreacting, aren't I? It's the stress. Yeah.

Actually I should study. I should. Exams will be in two months, and I really don't want to fail. It's just that I can't concentrate...Ron is standing at the other end of the room and talking with Seamus, and I keep glancing at him. It's frustrating, and it makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

Dear Diary, what am I supposed to do?

* * *

"Hermione! Are you dreaming?"

Her head jerked up and she looked directly at a grinning Ron. "Huh?", was all she could stutter. Obviously she had spaced out while gnawing on her pen and staring into her diary.

"What'cha doing?", Ron tried to read what she had written, but Hermione quickly pulled the book away.

"Private things.", she replied shortly and tried to hide the faint blush on her cheeks. 

"Uhhh, okay.", he held up his hands and looked a little bit hurt. "That important? I was calling you for quite some time now, and you didn't hear it."

"I was....preoccupied. Thinking about stuff."

Ron snickered. "You think too much, Herm. Maybe you should learn to listen to your instincts - at least sometimes."

The girl snorted. "Like you, or what? No, I prefer my own way of living, thank you very much."

_What am I doing? Fighting again? Ronald Weasley, why do you have to be so ANNOYING?_

"Fine, then continue sitting in a corner and brooding. I just wanted to ask if ya wanted to come over, playing a game of 'Exploding Snap', but since you aren't in the mood for it, I will just leave."

_No, don't go, I would LIKE to come with you, but I am so confused and I don't know what to think...I feel so helpless and stupid, and see, now I overreacted again and was being unfair towards you, like a teenage girl going through puberty...okay, I AM a teenage girl, but that's not the point....how can I join you and the others when I feel so...unstable??_

_Ah, to the hell with it!_

He was already walking away when Hermione closed her diary. "Wait.", she said timidly and stood up. "I would like to come....I'm just a little bit stressed right now. Not feeling well."

Ron frowned. "Maybe you should go and visit Madame Pomfrey." Now THAT made Hermione blush. Going to the nurse and telling her something like 'Everytime I see this boy, my hearts start pounding loudly and I blush like a tomato'?? No, never! She could already imagine what answer the woman would give her: "My dear, that's called 'love', and there's no potion against that."

_And maybe that's the truth...maybe it is love???_

* * *

Dear Diary,

Coming back to my old problems after having played a few rounds of 'Exploding Snap'. The guys are funny. I like them. I always have to laugh a lot when I am with them. My friends. When I was young, I didn't realise how important friendship can be. But now I know, and I call myself lucky to have great friends. We have gone through some rough times together, but we have managed to pull through.

So why do I now, in times of peace, make problems? 

Being in love. What's the matter with me that I can't stop thinking about love? Being in love. Having a crush. A crush on Ronald Weasley....doesn't it sound ridiculous?

Okay, let's face this logically. May the fact be given that I am - as stupid as it might be - in love with him. He would NEVER return my so-called feelings, because he sees as me a freak, a bookworm, a geek, a...it's frustrating. I don't think that he doesn't like me, but not liking as in more than friends- Liking in the sense of having a crush. 

There's something else which keeps bothering me. The fact that the others - Harry included - seem to know much more than me! The keep making comments like: "Oh, they are so sweet when they quarrel!" or "Between love and hate is a thin line." A few days ago Lavender told me that Ron and I would make such a cute couple.  
They don't see it, do they? He would never accept me as a girl-friend. I am too ugly. I don't know how to have fun. I never trust my instincts.

And right now, I am starting to sink into depression.

Just because of one guy! Talking of problems....I am not in love with him, diary, am I? Why can't I answer this question? It's the first question in my life I haven't been able to find an answer. And it's an IMPORTANT question. But my brain fails...

Maybe Ron's right....maybe I should trust my instincts.

The only problem now is....how do I do that??

* * *

"Hermione?" 

"What?"

"What's up with you lately?

"Why do you ask, Ron?"

"Because you keep ignoring us, running away and you hardly talk with me and Harry anymore."

"I'm not running away. It's just that I have a lot in my mind right now....stuff I have to think about....and I feel, to be quite frank, confused."

"Confused? Why?"

"....."

"Oh, come on, I'm your friend! You can tell me!"

"...Sorry, not this one."

He sighed and leaned against the wall. "Now you're confusing **me**!"

She smiled and then asked slowly. "Ron...how do you do it?"

"What?"

"Trust your instincts. How does it work?"

"Uh...well...you do the first thing which pops into your head. Without thinking if it could be right or wrong. You just to it, because a voice in your head keeps telling you that it's okay."

"Ah. And when I search for an answer?"

"Then think the question in your head. The first word to pop up is the answer your instinct chooses - unless it's a question in school, then you have to use your brain and hope that you have done your homework!"

"Okay."

"Herm?"

"Yes?"

"If you've figured out what's troubling you....would you then join us again? I kinda miss you around."

"...Sure."

"Great!" 

* * *

Dear Diary,

He says that he misses me. Can you believe it? Maybe...maybe...what the heck, I am blushing! Well, today I tried it. Tried to trust my instincts. I concentrated and asked myself the question: "Why am I so confused?"  
For the first moment, nothing happened, and then suddenly a sentence came into my mind...and everything was clear...it was strange....now I know it. And I immediately went to my friends and talked with them, talked with Ron...I didn't tell him about this, of course, but when we spoke to each other, I realised that it was the truth.

_I'm in love with Ronald Weasley._

I feel happy because I started to believe that there might be a small chance that he feels the same way for me. Hoping. And trying.  
And maybe I will trust my instincts once more and tell him about my feelings. Tomorrow. Yeah. Tomorrow would be great.

Maybe he likes me, too....liking as in more than friends.... 

**Comments? Criticism? Anything you want to say? Please review and let me know! **  



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